Modesty

What does a car wash and Reggaeton music have anything to do with a Christian dating article about modesty? Well, you are about to find out! It all started when I dropped off my car to be washed one morning. I opened the door to the lobby after handing off my keys and was shocked by what I saw. The lobby had a full bar, was blasting Reggaeton music, and had large TV screens playing videos of women twerking. Am I in a club? I had to check my phone to see what time it was. 9am?! What in the world? I sheepishly sat down at a high top table and kept my head low as if not wanting to be seen by anyone. 

I was stunned, but not because I've never been in this kind of environment before. Just ask the Lauren during her BC (before Christ) years. She was fully aware of her decision to walk into a club, and she dressed like she belonged there too. This situation was different, though. I was thrown off and felt out of place. Nothing about the description of a car wash matched the appearance of the lobby I was sitting in. I thought to myself, I don't belong here. 

When you become a Christian, certain things are not fitting for you anymore as a new creation.

Once you have tasted and seen the goodness and righteousness of Christ, the things of the world that used to entice shouldn't have the same effect on you. In fact, there is a newfound hate for sinful things. "Hate what is evil, cling to what is good" (Romans 12:9 NIV). This command is of course easier said than done. While our hearts have changed, our eyes are still inundated with seductive and provocative images constantly. It is truly a battle each day to shift our focus away from these things and instead to Christ. 

Jesus was right in saying, “'Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!'" (Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭22‬-‭23‬ ‭NLT). We are always at risk of compromising that light if we allow the world to conform us to its ways. 

Okay, here's where we have the hard talk about modesty. Women of God, we cannot feed into the world's darkness by what we wear or how we present ourselves. ‬We cannot be the ones enticing others to sin. We are called to bring the light of Jesus to a dark and deceived world. "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who call you out of darkness into his wonderful light" (1 Peter 2:9 NIV).

How can we live set apart as God's special possession, yet look no different than anyone else?  

Let me be the first to say that I have struggled with modesty since High School. I was a late bloomer, so when I found out that boys looked at me, I learned to adjust my appearance to keep them looking. Truthfully, I loved the attention. I decided to make it a competition. I would be at the mall shopping with friends but would keep track of how many heads turned to look at me. It fed a false confidence in me that led to many years of fighting immodesty.

It wasn't until I met Christ that I realized my appearance mattered, because I am now representing Him to the world. Though, the process took years of adjusting behaviors and disciplining myself to change my wardrobe. I am embarrassed to say that it took me an entire year to get rid of a skirt that I knew was too short for me to wear. For some people, the transformation to dress modestly is immediate, yet depending on how deep-rooted the struggle is, it may take a long time for others. No matter where you are at with this issue, keep working on it. It is a daily discipline that needs to be established.

If you are not already convinced that as a Christian it matters what you wear, let this scripture convince you, “'What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting'" (‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬). If you didn't get chills reading that, go back and read it again. This is a serious issue! 

For those of you who feel convicted, here are some next steps. Take a trip to your closet and start pulling out the clothing items that are not suited for a woman who is an ambassador of Christ. Then get rid of them. If you need some direction about wardrobe changes, there are a few verses in Scripture that specifically address a woman's attire: 1 Timothy 2:9 and 1 Peter 3:3. These verses are limited, however, on details of the style of clothing. Ultimately, we need to pray about it. Remember, our appearance should fit our description of being a Christian. No one should be confused by who we are representing.