Observation Deck

If you've ever visited a major city or you live in one, you may have had the opportunity to tour the observation deck of a skyscraper. That is, if you don't mind standing some 1000 feet in the air. And if you were extra brave to get close enough to the glass and look below, you would've noticed that the scale of everything has changed. Those colorful ants moving on the street? Those are cars. Your perspective shifts in the clouds. Problems may not seem quite as big. You may even develop some philosophical thoughts like, "how does God view us?"

Despite the little specs that we are in the universe, God cares for us. He has a unique vantage point. He observes us high up above and yet is so near to us. To some, that may seem a little scary. I can't hide anything from God. He is all-knowing. But this is also accountability for our growth (Hebrews 4:13 NIV). We cannot lie to Him, there's no point. He's in the business of sanctifying us because He loves us.

It would be convenient to have that same vantage point when getting to know someone. It may feel reassuring to know every detail about them before deciding to enter into a dating relationship with them or marry them. Unfortunately, that's unrealistic. It may take years for certain details of someone's life to be revealed, and people change over time, even while you are getting to know them. This, of course, can make dating an intimidating endeavor. 

How can I make a well-informed decision about the person I am dating or want to marry? 

I'm glad you asked the question. Take the elevator up to the observation deck, walk up to the glass and, well, observe. I'm not talking about stalking here. But there is wisdom in observing someone before you make a decision about them. Trust me, emotions are fleeting, they are not a good guide for decision-making. That is why you need observable facts.

One of the biggest mistakes I made in the past while dating was assuming I knew someone without taking the time to observe them. You should be able to answer a majority of these questions when you've given yourself adequate time to observe someone: How do they act around friends, peers, coworkers, family, and authority? How do they speak about you, others, and God? How do they spend their free time? Do they have alone time with God, reading the Word on a consistent basis? How do they express their emotions? How do they handle disappointment, hurt, or even betrayal? 

Now, I understand that the above scenarios are not always observable, depending on the environment in which you meet someone. You may not get the opportunity to see how someone acts at their place of work. Or the season in which you meet someone may be a generally, easy-going season for them, with minimal trials or hardships. So, to the best of your ability, be intentional about setting up time to get together with this person in different settings. 

The Bible talks about being consistent in character. Just look up how many times the Word discusses or commands us to love others. Well, it's dozens of times. Does this person you are pursuing show loving character no matter where they are? Or do they act one way at church and another way behind closed doors? As you probably already know, not all church-goers are saved.

It's a lot harder to try to end a relationship you should've never been in than to avoid it from the beginning.

The emotional impact of a bad relationship can last a looooooong time. So, take your time before making a decision, AND PRAY. God gives wisdom for discernment to those who ask Him (James 1:5 NIV) and we have the Holy Spirit to speak to our conscious. There WILL be signs as to why you shouldn't date someone. It depends on if you decide to heed those warnings or ignore them. Come visit the observation deck and you will get the answers you need to make a wise decision about the person you want to pursue.